I didn’t intend for this to turn into a Kate Winslet fan page (even though she is one of my favorite actresses). But this scene, the way Jack and his pals are feeling reminded of their lower-class existence and ‘not knowing what’s going to happen or who [he’s] gonna meet”. Then enters Rose, and the sight of her presence makes Jack suddenly reach higher and probably feels, “Now that is a woman, I would spend my whole life showing her and reminding her how wonderful she is.” And that was the moment Rose saved Jack and in turn Jack saved Rose and gave his life so she could live as a free unencumbered woman. And in spirit, Jack and Rose lived together forever. Rose took Jack everywhere because he was always in her heart. She never let go of his spirit or of her promise to him that she would live a full long life.

In contrast this is what happens when conditional love is present and two people are subconsciously acting out their childhood wounds and aren’t authentic and end up duping each other into a relationship/ marriage they don’t want. Please don’t fall into this pattern.

woman was giving him attention. Just like how April thought a strong confident man was interested in her and came towards her was exciting. But that is where they mislead each other. Frank wanted his mother’s love and April wanted her father’s validation. (This is all speculation on my part since we don’t really know about Frank’s and April’s family history) I think the issue was that Frank did settle for a mediocre life which made April lose respect and love for him, which in turn made him unable to fulfill her desires and no longer made her feel special because of how emasculated he felt by the world and her unhappiness. Additionally deflating his manhood even further. I theorize, Frank saw April as a butterfly to tame while April wanted to encourage Frank’s wild and free nature, which Frank never had the bravery to sustain.

Notice how Frank vacillates from angry and desperate to get April to love him and connect with him while also protecting his own inabilities onto her. But when he realizes April doesn’t love him anymore and feels rejected, he turns into a petulant child who feels empty without (most likely) his mother’s love. And perhaps April’s desire to be an actress was an attempt to feel special and get the validation she always needed from her father. When she fails at getting this need met, she withdraws from Frank because she possibly feels unworthy inside, but this triggers Frank’s insecurity that he also is unlovable. So perhaps what brought these souls together and what brings most people together (if they are not careful) are their most wounded aspects… They both have wounded inner children that feel unworthy/unlovable…

There is also an element of the anxious-avoidant dynamic at play here too where one person pulls on the other person to come closer and the other pushes away to get distance and respect for their boundaries… One person is desperate for love and connection and the other wants more autonomy. This is a result from abandonment trauma for the anxiously attached person and enmeshment for the avoidant attached person. Although, in April’s case, I think it has more to do with perhaps wanting her father’s love and validation yet at the same time hating her father, and so she as a little girl decided to be independent. Maybe even to further the parallels between April and Frank, April’s father didn’t love her for her and tried to mold her into something she isn’t. And that’s additionally why she wanted to act to experience an honest expression of self and also why she felt she needed to mold Frank into someone he wasn’t. They both mirrored conditional love to one another instead of loving each other for who they are and by feeling safe to be authentic from the beginning.

To continue, April perhaps developed a hatred of push over men who can’t provide or protect her, yet also needs a man at the same time who will love, protect and provide for her in a thrilling way who raises her up and encourages her to blossom and grow, but that feels powerless because she doesn’t feel lovable/worthy deep inside perhaps. So, she chooses artistic expression and independence, yet secretly needs a strong man to provide for her. But she fears she isn’t worthy of a strong man’s love and commitment to her so she chooses art and independence instead to fill the void and ends up attracting Frank who isn’t capable of being the leading man she needs but because of her feelings of unworthiness she hopes she can mold him into the man she wants. Just like how she wanted to mold her father into the man she needed him to be.

And Frank seems to me to have mommy issues and felt neglected and rejected by his mother and is desperate for a woman’s love, which further suffocates April and makes her feel repulsed by him, probably similar to how he sensed his mother felt towards him.

People on the internet joke that this is what Jack and Rose would have been like if Jack lived… which, I of course, don’t agree with. But I wanted to share this clip of Revolutionary Road to show in contrast what happens when you do not marry the right person and most likely in this case, marry the person that’s going to mirror your childhood wounds back to you. And this is also what happens when one or both spouses allow life to kill their fire and the essence of who they are and allow the very reason their spouse fell in love with them in the first place, to be snuffed out.

I think April loved Frank’s free spirit and awe and curiosity about life when she first met him, that he didn’t know what he was passionate about… only that he seemed passionate about living and not settling for a mediocre life. And I think that called to April’s free artistic spirit as well and made her feel special. I think Frank saw April as beautiful woman with feminine nurturing energy that could love him and support him as his wife… while also her power and confidence he found attractive because those were the qualities he lacked deep inside, and it excited him that a such a

Instead, choose a man that makes you feel like this!

Free and also safe and contained at the same time…helps you blossom and grow and feeds your free-spirited nature. A man still connected to his boyhood and can imagine and play with you, make you laugh, can get you to do adventurous things you’d never do on your own and also makes your heart beat faster, gives you chills and that you feel your soul loves his soul and vice versa.

I could keep going on and on, but please check out my blog for even more in depth “Allayrah Reflections”. I mostly wanted to show case the power of femininity and true love between the divine masculine and the divine feminine and compare that with when the shadow masculine oppresses women and the shadow feminine emasculates men, mixed with conditional love, creating a recipe for destruction where neither live, not truly. Where with Jack and Rose, both live at least in a symbolic sense.

Choosing the right mate really does matter. In America, for some strange reason, we seem to prioritize career over marriage and relationships and view marriages and relationships as replaceable… when really the opposite is true. Your spouse, the one you vowed to spend the rest of your 40-80+ years of your life with (depending on when you marry) should be your one constant in your life… Career and money will fluctuate, but you being married to your spouse will not. So you want to be smart about who you choose. They should enhance your life and decrease your stress, not add to it. Your spouse can make the difference between living longer or not… being happy or not, having a successful life or not. Attraction, looks, chemistry can all fluctuate, so make your decision based on real factors such as emotional maturity, trustworthiness, kindness, possessing good problem-solving skills, having a good work ethic, prioritizing you and your marriage… feel free to journal about any other real substantial qualities you’d want in your spouse to possess that would stand the test of time.

For now, I send you many blessings. Please feel free to check out my other offerings. Thank you so much for checking out my website, especially if you got this far! God bless.