Giving & Receiving Nourishment: A Vital Basic Need, Not A Luxury

News flash: Relationships are supposed to feel nourishing, safe, warm, loving, and caring! Who would have thought, huh? ;)

Please let me showcase to you why giving and receiving nourishment is a vital basic need and not a luxury. After 30 ish years of dysfunction and drama and living in a world full of lurking predatory leeches, narcissists, energy vampires, and the such, not to mention all the distractions this modern day offers, I felt pretty drained and battered, to say the least. I was always giving to others but rarely getting that energy back in return. Not that my love and support are conditional, but it’s important to be able to receive back acknowledgment and mirroring that what one does matters and makes a positive difference and it’s honestly what is right, fair, healthy, and respectful --to have reciprocal mutually beneficial relationships. This is not tit for tat, but just a natural healthy energy flow that is sustainable. One cannot survive if they are always feeding others but never feeding themselves or being fed. People always came to me for advice but never followed it and continued to complain to me about the recurring problems they never did anything to fix or solve. They were addicted to drama and trauma and living in survival mode and afraid of their shadows if they were to ever become still. Which meant they could never be there for me when I needed help or a calm loving listening ear. People were living out their core wounds and traumas like a perpetual Groundhog Day, never changing and healing the destructive patterns and triggers to create transformation in their lives. They were stuck in their trauma, rarely able to get a bird’s eye view and make a different choice from a higher perspective to create improvement, progress and evolution and a new paradigm/ a new default of living. Most people around me were self-absorbed and living on autopilot, unaware of their unawareness, bumbling around haphazardously through life. Yikes. I felt like a vase in a china shop full of bulls running rampant. Not fun and very hurtful and stressful, especially for the more awakened and intuitive empaths. For most of my life, I was trying to get bulls to become aware of the damage they were causing to get all this unnecessary stress to stop, so peace could finally prevail and I could at last stand on solid, stable ground and build a happy, successful, thriving life. It’s acceptable and bearable if the outside world is like that, but to experience that in your own home and in your personal life every day and have no safe place to restore and heal your soul and no nourishing support system of people around you, it’s impossible to have any kind of healthy productive life. I’m telling you 100%, it is impossible, and I’m an optimist. I tried for years so you don’t have to. If you are in toxic environment, make it your sole focus on manifesting yourself into a healthy environment (notice I didn’t say “out of”, the energy flows where your attention goes) All living beings need a healthy environment to grow. It is insane to believe or expect anyone to grow and heal in a stressful chaotic environment, it just can’t be done. Even if it is just “emotionally stressful”, that can even be worse than physically abusive situations sometimes. I’ve heard people state this before. It’s not always true, but it often can be the case that emotionally abusive homes can be just as bad or perhaps worse than physically abusive homes. Either way, like I said, if you are in an abusive toxic situation you either need to manifest changing the unhealthy environment you’re in, into a positive healthy one OR you need to manifest yourself into an entirely new healthy environment where you can begin to heal and ultimately thrive.

I do not blame these people I speak of and I have great compassion for them. This is not a judgment. I’m showcasing why it is so incredibly vital that all beings get their needs met by giving and receiving nourishment. Plants and animals need this, and so do we. I am, of course, talking about emotional nourishment, nurturing, love, care, and connection; to literally experience someone giving TO you (instead of taking or draining from you) loving nourishing energy. Depending on your trauma, either giving or receiving will be more important to you. Both are important to experience in daily life, but usually, there will be one that takes center stage in your life and will be more of a challenge for you/something you will have to work at, while the other will be second nature. Thus there will be a strong emphasis on either, receiving or giving, another way to say “giving” is being received. For others like myself, experiencing the healthy side of both will be incredibly healing- in this case, you got dealt a more challenging set of cards but this also comes with the biggest reward.

For those who fall on one side of the spectrum:

If you didn’t receive love, care and nourishment; aka you didn’t experience someone unconditionally lovingly giving to you, finally receiving nourishment will be your cure. Literally, being like a baby, doing nothing, just being and allowing someone who loves you and is full of so much love giving to you and pampering you with personal attention and love and thoughtful attuned care. On the other hand, if you had a lot to give but were denied, rejected and others did not receive what you had to give, finally being received and taken in and embraced like someone sunbathing in your presence will be healing for you. Seeing them smile and relax and soak up your energy and express to you how much they love and appreciate you will be healing for you.

In relationships, there is a predominant giver and a predominant receiver. And I am talking about any kind of relationship not just romantic. This could be family, friends, interactions with strangers and acquaintances…etc. In same-sex relationships, these roles can be blurred and will vacillate more but overall, still, there will be one who most often gives (i.e. 55%-60% of the time) and there will be one who most often receives (i.e. 55%-60% of the time). In male/female relationships, if there is healthy polarity, these roles are more fixed (i.e. 80/20 - the male or the masculine essence gives 80% of the time and receives 20% of the time, the female/feminine essence receives 80% of the time and gives 20% of the time… there is masculine giving and receiving and there is feminine giving and receiving but I will talk about that in a separate post.) This can be quite simply defined as divine masculine (giving) and divine feminine energy (receiving) and it is a core principle law of this universe. Everything can be divided up into masculine and feminine energy, and all life is based on taking in energy and giving out energy (i.e. breathing- inhale= masculine, exhale=feminine). So even on an emotional/energetic level, giving and receiving nourishment is VITAL to living a healthy successful life. Connection/love/care/ emotional nourishment is the #1 human need, more than food and water.

We all understand the benefits of giving. But what are the benefits of receiving? Especially for others, since receiving could have a more selfish affiliation… Receiving can be majorly beneficial for the giver. Just imagine giving a gift to someone you love and you put so much thought and care into this gift, wouldn’t you want them to happily and openly receive this gift and see the smile on their face when they open it and they say, “OMG! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED. THANK YOU SO MUCH!” Wouldn’t that be so fulfilling and make you so happy if not more happy than them? The fulfillment in being responsible for that smile, laughter, relaxation, relief or excitement and quietly thinking to yourself while smirking, “Yeah, I did that”. This is the benefit of receiving, which means having no resistance… Resistance sounds like, “Oh no you shouldn’t have.” “This is too much. I don’t deserve this.” “Thanks but [ insert any excuse here… i.e. I feel bad you went through all this trouble for me]”. Waah-wah. Meh. :( That doesn’t feel good does it? How good does it feel to pet a puppy or kitten and they are fully relaxed in your arms sunbathing in your love? Doesn’t that light you up? “Aww they are so adorable! I love this!” It makes you feel you’re doing something right, huh? It just makes you feel so good inside. When you receive, you make the other person feel good, worthy, valuable, successful, fulfilled, happy, and deserving of good things. Whoa. Take that in. Did you RECEIVE that? ;) People who have things to give WANT to give, they NEED to give. Don’t reject them or deny both of you the pleasure. Openly receive the gift they have to offer and you in return give them a gift back. This energy flow creates a toroid and it will be a never-ending experience of bliss and joy. The more you receive and appreciate the more they and the universe will want to give to you and the more relief, relaxation and joy you will give the giver just by your receiving and appreciation of their gifts. You both will feel worthy happy and fulfilled and everyone wins!

When BOTH of these needs are met MIRACULOUS manifestations occur.

-Profound deep healing on the heart level. So many studies have confirmed that the heart sends more messages to the brain than the reverse and it has a stronger electromagnetic field. You are literally nourishing and filling up your heart with love, whether you are giving or receiving loving/nourishing energy.

-Your aura/ energy field heals, strengthens and widens. This will help you ward off any negative energies more easily, and be more resilient “like water off a duck’s back” and stay in positive, energetic, loving energy flow throughout the day.

-Feelings of safety, stability, security, well-being are experienced in the body on a visceral, somatic level

-Your vagus nervous system is reset (responsibile for the body’s “rest and digest” relaxed “I am safe” state), and your body returns to homeostasis. Your body comes out of survival mode, fight, flight, freeze or fawn and your body can rest, heal, grow and thrive.

-You become a more powerful conscious manifestator. You can manifest your desires with great speed and ease!

-You raise your frequency to the yellow ray consciousness- empowerment, individuation, freedom, personal sovereignty, self- actualization, authority, integrity, intuition, ability to critically think and respond rather than react, ability to think objectively, ability to be the captain of your own ship, make your own choices, have a say in what happens and doing what’s best for you rather than just going along with the herd

“This is a Ray of consciousness. {Also known as the} yellow golden flame brings the impulse for binding light and love, as well as for unifying matter and spirit. This is a Ray of wisdom, sensitivity and intuition. The energy of the yellow flame qualifies and teaches, enabling the processes of thorough synthesis, love, wisdom, enlightenment and peace.” Source: https://www.sunnyray.org/Yellow-ray.htm

-You will have more clarity about who you are and your purpose and what you came here to do and experience (aka what you came here to give and receive)

-You become more productive and emotionally fulfilled as you begin living out your purpose since you are no longer in survival mode. Life becomes more meaningful, spiritual, magical and synchronistic.

Examples of Giving & Receiving:

-UNCONDITIONAL STILLNESS & PRESENCE & ATTUNEMENT - the most important one of all and should occur in all other activities listed below

-Eye/Soul Gazing… or taking it a step further the connection process

-Massages

-Cooking food/Enjoying a home cooked meal

-Gifts & thoughtful gestures

-Acts of service

-Volunteer work

-Giving personal attention, softly talking, giving ASMR experiences

-Going to the spa or giving a spa treatment

-Brushing someone’s hair/ hair play

-Physical Touch/ sensory play, light soft caresses and touches, feathers, velvet, different textures, different pressures, different aromas, different gentle sounds

-Quality Time

-Deep conversation- one asking questions, one responding, one talking, one responsively listening

-Organizing a date or get together or vacation

-Doing housework for someone

-Running errands for someone

-Leading someone through a guided meditation

-Playing music or singing to someone

-Aromatherapy

-Comforting someone in pain and being with them in their pain and seeing and feeling into their inner world and sensing what they need

-Cuddling

-Holding someone while they cry and being fully present and there for them

-Reading to someone

-Providing for someone you love/ they flow, relax, do what they love, shine, find themselves, heal

-Providing shelter and food/ creating a home

-Giving someone mirroring and validation

-Being a stylist for someone and helping them find the best colors, clothes, make-up and hairstyles that suit them best

-Organizing for someone or helping someone set up organizing systems, helping someone decluter their home or office

-Meal planning

-Baking

-Decorating and interior design

-Fixing things, home renovation, remodeling

-Landscaping, lawn work, ploying snow

-Refurbishing

-Playtime, playing a game, being playful and playing make-believe

-Fully taking care of someone while they relax- making them food, and beverages, retrieving things for them, getting them all cozy and comfortable

-Tucking someone in for bedtime and creating a nice cozy environment

-Doing a creative project together ( one leading and containing and one flowing and enjoying fully immersed in the activity)

-Helping to stretch someone or exercising with someone (one leading, one following)

-Creating a nutritional and workout plan for someone and giving support and encouragement

-Helping someone with their finances like helping them with their taxes or creating a budget

-Helping someone learn how to do something on a computer

-Being a personal assistant and supporting someone fulfill their dreams

-Teaching someone a skill or craft (i.e. swimming, playing a musical instrument, a foreign language)

-Plainly giving someone a certain emotion/feeling or experience they always wanted or creating a certain kind of ambiance/ environment. (i.e. like the different ASMR role plays, courting someone and fine wining and dining them, making someone feel special and as a priority, re-creating a nostalgic movie scene like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Pride & Prejudice, Star Wars, The Little Mermaid…etc)

The list could go on and on!

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